"IT" (otherwise Known As HD 36405.b) Isn't Your Average "oddball" Exo-solar Planet Made Of Rock That Wobbles On Its End Zips Around A Nearby Star In Less Than 2.46 Days.Seeking A Spot Of Serenity Somewhere In The Universe, I Recently Booked A Deep-discount Dodgy Berth On The 'White Elephant Express Space Shuttle', To A Little Known Place In A Galaxy Far, Far Away.If Truth Be Told, (after Reading Random Excerpts From "The Itty Bitty Bunkum Book About Life, The Universe Practically Everything Under The Sun Not To Mention Stuff Going On In Remote Galaxies), I Was Basically Delirious. According To Its Noted Author, Dr. Jarn Leffer, "IT Is A 'must-see' For Those With Little Time On Their Hands A Passionate Interest In Innocuous Things."Most Linear Thinkers Have A Great Deal Of Difficulty Even Comprehending Why On Earth Someone In Their "right Mind" Would Be Interested In Visiting A Planet Called "IT". Not Being A Linear Thinker With An Investment In The "right" Answer, I Didn't Give A Hoot. After All, What Does One (who Walks On Water Listens To Miffed Mortals All Day Long) Do For A Frigging Night Off, Now I Ask You?As Planets Go, "IT" Is A Ho-hum Celestial Pit-stop With Perhaps One Exception. The Welcome Notice That Reads, "Cosmic Cowboys - Welcome To The Furthest Unexplored Outreaches Of The Galaxy . Home To The Flop Fairy Oodles Of Gadflies!""IT" Is Populated By Colonies Of Giggling, Green Grasshoppers . What Else Would You Expect To Inhabit A Far-flung, Fantasy-challenged Hellhole Like This? But, What Made "IT" Strictly Speaking A Strange Place Was The Fact That The Inhabitants Munch On Green, Biodegradable Garbage Bags For Fun. Lacking Masticating Capabilities, The Gadflies Process Their Food By Vigorously Jumping Up Down On It. No Wonder They Have No Need For Fast-food Franchises, Strip Malls Or Landfills!To Put "IT" Bluntly, Life On "IT" Is Shy Of A Tittynope. The Jolly Green Grasshoppers The Carefully Manicured Green Fairways With Sand Traps As Far As The Eye Can See Certainly Make For An Utterly Harmless World. Regrettably, Without A Pair Of Golf Clubs, A Dimpled White Ball, The Notion That 19th Hole Even Exists On This Planet -- "IT" Is About As Fun As Bag Of Toads!Anyway, I Picked Up This Picturesque Postcard Of The Blessed Ballyhooing Buglugs. They Look Perfectly Happy But Don't Be Deceived. In Reality, They Are A Gang Of Glad-handing Grasshoppers. They Don't Play Golf, Eat Burgers, Or Drink Beer -- None Can Frost A Rock! Come To Think Of It, Apart From The Company Of Bugs The Elusive Flop Fairy, This Pathetic Planet Has Precious Little Going For IT!!Life Lesson 42: Remember To Talk To Your Travel Agent Before Ever Embarking On A Flight Of Fancy To A Planet Called "IT" In A Galaxy Named "Have-a-Nice-Day"!! If You Need To Know What Those Green, Glad-handing Grasshoppers From "IT" Look Like -- Ask Any Four-year Old, Or Failing That Request Some Help From A Flying Saucer Club Member."Tittynope" For You Whiffling Word-peckers Means "a Small Quantity Of Anything Left Over".
