What A Wonderful And Diverse World Modern Formula 1 Is. It Offers A Mystique, A Sexiness, That No Other Motorsport Can Offer. Exhaustive Research And Analysis Is Carried Out Every Year On The People That Make Up The F1 Audience. Were Told F1 Supporters Are Intelligent, Articulate, Usually Affluent And Posses A Worldliness And Sophistication That Has Seen Multinationals Clamouring Over Themselves, Pouring Billions Into The Sport To Try And Associate Themselves With The F1 Brand.Well For The First Time, I Have Conducted My Own Highly Technical And Scientific Research (I Spoke To A Couple Of My Mates Down At The Pub) To Compile The Definitive F1 Fan Study. This Should Be Essential Reading For All The Marketing Directors Out There.THE SCHUSCIPLEDistinguishing Features:Exclusively Wear Scarlet RedKnow That F1 Started In 1991Have Had Chin Augmentation SurgeryLocatedEverywhere - Theyre Like Damn Cockroaches They Just Keep Multiplying.Favoured ProductsAnything Endorsed By St Michael Of Maranello Favourite SayingI Hope It Rains, That Will The Rainmaster At His Best Schumacher Is The Greatest Of All Time Because..Schumacher Is So Great He Could Win In Any Car (this Saying Has Recently Been Heard Less Often)Marketing TipIf You Want To Sell Something To The Schusciple, Either Paint It Scarlet Red, Or Feature A Picture Of The Man Himself No Other Work Is Needed.Be Prepared To Spend 8 Billion (Schumachers Current Rate For An Endorsement)OLD SCHOOLDistinguishing Features:Believe Formula 1s Glory Days Were Circa 1520Juan Johnny Come Lately Fangio Marks The Decline Of Formula 1Vehemently Opposed To Such Ridiculous Introductions As Seat Belts, Brakes, Helmets And Engines.LocatedZimmer Frame Or Public LibraryFavoured ProductsGramophoneWireless (no Not The Internet Connection Radio)Favourite SayingI Remember WhenThis Will Be The End Of Formula 1Marketing TipsUnless Your Client Owns A Funeral Home Or Manufactures Hemorrhoid Cream, Dont Bother.GREASE MONKEYSDistinguishing Features:Lack Of Personal HygienePungent Odour (see Above)Inability To Communicate To The Opposite SexDrive 2000 Vehicles With 150 000 ModificationsWardrobe Consists Of A Variety Of Overalls (usually Team Colours)Located:Head Firmly Buried In An Engine Or Performance MagazineFavoured ProductsAnything That Makes A Vehicle Louder (performance Enhancement Optional)Favourite SayingNo-one Has Actually Heard Them Speak, Other Than Some Grunting NoisesMarketers TipsMake Sure All Advertising Has A Big Picture Of An EngineUse Little Of No Text (due To Illiteracy)TECHNIUMSDistinguishing Feature:AcneThick Rimmed GlassesBad PosturePocket ProtectorUsually SingleLocatedIn Front Of A ComputerFavoured ProductsAny Hi Tech Material Known By An Unpronounceable WordFavourite SayingMcLarens New Engine Material Jargonium - Is So Advanced Its Not Even On The Periodic Table Ha HaPinnacle Of MotorsportMarketers TipsAny Product Or Service Should Have The Suffix Of IumEnsure That Advertising Is Placed Is Modern Metallurgy And Is Written Entirely In NonsensiumF1 DISCO BUNNIESDistinguishing FeaturesEasily Distracted By Bright Shiny ObjectsWill Do Anything To Be Associated With An F1 Insider (even 5th Reserve Driver Will Do)Dont Enjoy Loud NoisesThink The Pit Markings Are A Really Big Line Of Their Favourite ChemicalLocatedTeam Hotelsmotorhomes, Usually In A Perpetual Horizontal PositionFavoured ProductsAnything ShinyFavourite SayingIf You Can Get Me To Meet Fernando Ill Make It Worth Your WhileMarketers TipsAny Breast Enhancement Product CONSPIRACY THEORISTSDistinguishing FeaturesBelieve In The FIA Ferrari FormulaBelieve Max Mosley Is Trying To Ruin The SportLocatedIn F1 Forums Posting Latest Wild Plan Of Mosley To Destroy F1Favoured ProductsMifepristoneFavourite SayingsOK, So The 2006 Formula 1 Season Is Exciting, Thats Got Nothing To Do With Maxs ChangesNo Longer The Pinnacle Of Motor SportMarketing TipsOther Than A Max Is Satan T-shirt Not Much You Can Sell This LotWANNABESDistinguishing FeaturesTheir Cars Have 5 Point Safety HarnessWear A HANS Device When Doing The Shopping Or Having A ShowerDisproportionately Developed Neck MusclesLocatedIn Front Of The X-Box Honing Their Skills For The Pending Call Up To The ShowNearest Kart Track Honing Their Skills For The Pending Call Up To The ShowFavoured ProductsAny Formula 1 Branded ProductFavourite SayingF1 Is The Pinnacle Of MotorsportKimi Has Great RacecraftI Could Do Better Than IdeMarketing TipsStick An Official Formula Logo On Any Piece Of Crud And They Will Lap It UpGRID GIRL CONNOSEURDistinguishing FeaturesCalluses On The Inside Of Their HandsBlurred VisionLocatedIn Front Of A Computer Screen Downloading Adult EntertainmentNearest Girly BarFavoured ProductsKY GelFavourite SayingCorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrMarketing TipsStick A Picture Of A Gorgeous Babe On Any Piece Of Crud And Theyll Buy It.Also Largest Consumer Segment Of Enlargement Techniques.
