In A Culture Full Of Reasons To Say No,'' It Takes A Lot Of Courage To Find Ways To Say Yes.''We're Taught To Say No'' From A Very Young Age, After All. For Most Of Us, Our First Word Was No'', And It Quickly Became Our Favorite Word. As Toddlers And Teenagers, We Used No'' Todifferentiate Ourselves From Our Parents, Peers, And Surroundings. It's How We Began To Control What Was Happening Around Us, Or At Least, How We Itriedi To Control That. It Helped Us Over Those Early Developmental Hurdles, And Gave Us Our Earliest Sense Of Our Personal Boundaries -- And That's A Lot Of Significance Bound Up In Such A Tiny Word!The Problem Isn't That No'' In And Of Itself Is Somehow Bad; Indeed, Giving Yourself Permission To Say "no" As An Adult Can Keep You Out Of An Awful Lot Of Trouble.The Problem Is That No'' Begins To Take On A Life Of Its Own. Too Often, That Life Is Yours.Life Is Change, And No'' Becomes A Way Of Slowing Down That Change, Or Trying To Stop It Altogether. It Is A Shield We Use To Protect Ourselves From Having To Experience Anything New Or Different. Rather Than Riding The Wave Of Change Into A Life Full Of Exhilarating Possibilities, We Use No'' As A Tether To Keep Us Safely Confined To The Kiddie Pool. Using No'' To Protect Ourselves From Change Is Like A Kitten Poking Its Head Under Covers, Assuming It's Completely Hidden. Change Is Going To Happen, Whether You Say "no" To It Or Not. And, Just Like That Kitten, Assuming That "no" Protects You From Change Is One Sure Way To Have It Pounce On You And Bite Your Tail. Let's Be Honest Here: We Usually Say No'' Out Of Fear, And Some Fears Are Entirely Reasonable. It's Sensible To Say No'' To Jumping Off A Bridge Or No'' To Cake If You Are Diabetic. These No's'' Aren't The Ones That Keep Us From Living Lives Of Incredible Satisfaction And Happiness. It's Those Silly, Neurotic Fears Like Fearing Rejection, Or Of Looking Stupid, Or Being Wrong. It's The Fear Of Commitment, The Fear Of Speaking Out, And The Fear Of Facing Our Truest, Deepest Desires. The List Is Nauseatingly Long, And We've All Bought Into Some Of These At Least Once. These Fears Have Shaped Our Lives, Often To Our Detriment And Sometimes To The Detriment Of Those Around Us. So The Next Time You're Faced With Something New And Exciting And All Those Little Neurotic Fears Start Rioting Inside You, What Does It Take To Fight Down A No'' And Say Yes'' Instead?In A Word: Courage.Like The Cowardly Lion (an Archetype For The Fear-ridden) We Need To Find Our Courage. Unlike Him, We Know That We Have To Face Our Fears, And Find Our Courage Within. Inside Each Of Us Beats A Brave, Fiercely Courageous Heart, Willing To Take On A Challenge If It Means That Life Afterward Will Be More Authentic, Happier, And Freer. What Better Challenges To Tackle Than The Fears That Keep Us Chained To Our Tiny, Boring, Closeted Little Lives?Do Yourself A Favor: Right Now, Identify And Tackle At Least One Of Those Inner Fears. Find A Reason To Say "yes" Today, And Every Day. You've Only Your Inner Coward To Lose!
