Ever Wonder Why Things Happen? If Not, Then Just Stop Reading. This Will Be Way Over Your Head. Go Watch Cartoons. Why Did Real Estate Values Suddenly Climb To Record Highs The Past Few Years? Why Did Interest Rates Drop So Low Allowing So Many Average People To Refinance And Get Access To More Cash Than They Had Ever Previously Seen? And More Importantly8230;Why Did It Stop All Of A Sudden?The Answer Is 8211; Someone8230;wanted It This Way.Now I8217;m Not Pointing Any Fingers At The Government Or Blaming The Government Or Insinuating That The Government Is Responsible In Any Way Shape Or Form (the Government Did It). But That8217;s Only Because I Don8217;t Want Men In Black To Come Assassinate Me In The Middle Of The Night. I Hate Assassinations; Especially When They Happen To Me. It8217;s One Of My Biggest Pet Peeves. Being Assassinated. Unless They Send A Ninja. THAT Would Be Cool.But All Undeniably True And Irrefutable Conspiracy Theories Aside, It Is Obvious That The Market Is Somewhat Controlled By The United States Government. And I Mean Somewhat In The Sense Of Totally And Completely 100. The U.S. Is A Proverbial Control Freak. Is There A Proverb About Control Freaks? There Should Be.I Love This Country. A LOT. But It Would Be Nice If They Would Take Their Hands Off Of Things Every Once In A While And Let Us Pretend To Be Free For A Smidge Of A Nanosecond. But Hey, It8217;s Not My Country. Wait A Minute, Yes It Is. I Forgot. Ok, Now I8217;m Pissed. Someone Hand Me A Picket Sign. My Point Is Simply This 8211; Someone Thinks You8217;ve Made Enough Money In Real Estate8230;and It8217;s Time To End The Party.You Think The Media Blasted Out Their Never-ending 8220;sky Is Falling8221; Stories For No Reason? Someone Was Basically Sending You A Message 8211; The Show Is Over. It8217;s Not Safe Anymore. Go Do Something Else.Did It Work? Did They Scare You Out Of The Market? Did You Jump Back In The Rat Race Like A Good Little Boy Or Girl? Did You Get In Line? Huh, Little Lemming? Did Ya? Huh?Have You Ever Had Lemming Soup? Delicious. I Saw It Coming. All The Negative Press Surrounding The Real Estate Market Was The First Clue. Especially Since Those 8220;reports8221; Were While Interest Rates Were At Record Lows And People Were Still Buying. I Was So Mad Because I Knew What Would Happen. It Would Work. People Would Believe It And Get Scared. And They Did. First Of All, Stop Being Such A Scaredy Cat. Scaredy Cats Are Annoying. And Smelly. Remember The Song Smelly Cat By Phoebe Buffay On The Sitcom Friends? Good. I Have Nothing At All To Say About That Song. I Just Wanted To Make Sure You Don8217;t Ever Forget It.My Point Is - Stop Watching The News. It8217;s Stupid. You8217;re Better Off Watching Cartoons With The Guy From The First Paragraph Of This Article.In Other Words 8211; Create Your Own Reality Instead Of Taking All Your Cues From What Everyone Else Is Doing. Everyone Else Is A Freakin8217; Robot Fully Programmed And Brainwashed By That Same 8220;someone8221; We Mentioned Earlier. That 8220;someone8221; May Be Suze Orman. I8217;m Not Totally Sure. She Looks Suspiciously Like A Hostile Space Alien So She8217;s Definitely Suspect In My Opinion.I Mean, Let Me Ask You A Question; If No One Would Have Paid Attention To Those Stupid News Fabrications (I Mean Stories) And Just Kept On Doing What They Were Doing, Do You Honestly Think The Market Would Have Stalled Or Regressed. Of Course Not. We Are The Market. I Have Good News For You. Especially For All You Rehabbers, Realtors, Condo Converters, Pre-construction Investors, And Landlords. Yeah You. You8217;re All Suffering Right Now So You May As Well Admit It. 8220;Hi, My Name Is John, And I8217;m A Recovering Realtor. Please Help Me.8221; Say It! The Good News Is As Follows:I Just Saved 15 On My Car Insurance. Just Kidding. With My Driving History, That Will Never Happen. I Recently Got A Copy Of My Actual Driving Record And One Of The (many) Infractions Was 8220;driving On The Sidewalk.8221; If That8217;s Not Funny, I Don8217;t Know What Is. That Particular Infraction Was A Couple Years Old And I Honestly Have No Idea What That Is All About. I Wish I Could Remember Though Because It Sounds Hilarious.But We Don8217;t Have Time To Talk About Me Right Now. Let8217;s Talk About You. And The Good News. One More Time - The Good News Is As Follows:My Students And I Are Making Just As Much Money In Real Estate Right Now In The Year 2007 As We Always Have. And You Are Free To Join Us At Any Time. How Do We Do It? Very Carefully. That8217;s All I8217;m Sayin8217;. Very8230;carefully.I Would Venture To Say That Our Elite Group Is The Only One Making Any Money Right Now Buying And Selling Real Estate. I Know It For A Fact Actually. We Are The Only Sector Of The Real Estate 8220;investing8221; Community That Makes Money No Matter What The Market Is Doing. Sounds Fun Doesn8217;t It? Want In?It8217;s Fun In Our Land. Magical Even. We Don8217;t Give A Rat8217;s Ass What 8220;someone8221; Wants The Real Estate Market To Be Doing. We Just Keep Right On Making Money. And We Do It By Buying It Really Really Cheap8230;and Selling It Really Cheap. Buy Really Really Cheap. Sell Really Cheap. Get It? We Buy With 2 Reallys (one Of Which Is Italicized So That You Can Easily See That It Is Leaning Slightly To The Right) And Sell With 1. We All On The Same Page? If Not, Just Read This Paragraph Sixty Seven More Times. You8217;ll Get It Eventually. Don8217;t Give Up.In Other Words 8211; We Wholesale Real Estate. And We Do It Without Ever Taking Title To The Property, Without Ever Spending A Dime, And Without Ever Using Our Credit. Joy!I Mean, It Just Makes Sense Doesn8217;t It? To Make Any Money In A Market You Have To Sell Something People Are Buying. Duh. Well, People Aren8217;t Buying Retail Real Estate Right Now. So That Poses A Serious Problem For Realtors And Rehabbers, Doesn8217;t It? Guess What People Are Buying Lots Of? Wholesale Real Estate.When Do The Rich Like To Buy? When The Market Is Up Or Down? If You Can8217;t Answer That Then I8217;m Going To Have To Ask You To Go Join The Cartoon Watchers Please. I Recommend The Simpsons. They Buy When The Market Is Down. Actually They Buy All The Dang Time, But Especially When It8217;s Down.When My Students And I Get A Hold Of A Good Property We Have It Sold In A Day. One Of Our Properties Recently Sold In Two Hours. Beats 3-6 Months On The Market Doesn8217;t It? I Have Severe A.D.D. People. If It Doesn8217;t Move At The Speed Of Light 8211; I8217;m Not Involved. I8217;d Choke Myself To Death With Stiff Nylon If I Had To Wait 3 Months For A Property To Sell. So Whoever Likes Fast Money You Have Found Your Personal Pied Piper. Follow Me. And Start Collecting Checks.How Do We Do It? Don8217;t Have Time For That Now. It8217;s Easy. I8217;m Sure You Can Figure It Out. If Not, Give Me A Call. I8217;d Love To Help. Where In The World Did That Expression Come From?
