Whoever Said, "You Can't Take It With You" Was Obviously Not Referring To A Sense Of Humor ...Here Is A List Of Actual Epitaphs From Departed Souls Who Clearly Had More To Say Than The Time To Say It, Or From Their Next Of Kin, Who Wanted To Be Sure They Literally Had The Last Word:On The Grave Of Ezekial Aikle In East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:Here LiesEzekial AikleAge 102The Good Die Young.In A London, England Cemetery:Ann MannHere Lies Ann Mann,Who Lived An Old MaidBut Died An Old Mann.Dec. 8, 1767In A Ribbesford, England, Cemetery:Anna WallaceThe Children Of Israel Wanted BreadAnd The Lord Sent Them Manna,Old Clerk Wallace Wanted A Wife,And The Devil Sent Him Anna.Playing With Names In A Ruidoso, New Mexico, Cemetery:Here LiesJohnny YeastPardon MeFor Not Rising.Memory Of An Accident In A Uniontown, Pennsylvania Cemetery:Here Lies The Body Of Jonathan BlakeStepped On The GasInstead Of The Brake.In A Silver City, Nevada, Cemetery:Here Lays Butch,We Planted Him Raw.He Was Quick On The Trigger,But Slow On The Draw.A Widow Wrote This Epitaph In A Vermont Cemetery:Sacred To The Memory Of My Husband John Barneswho Died January 3, 1803His Comely Young Widow, Aged 23, Has Many Qualifications Of A Goodwife, And Yearns To Be Comforted.A Lawyer's Epitaph In England:Sir John StrangeHere Lies An Honest Lawyer,And That Is Strange.Someone Determined To Be Anonymous In Stowe, Vermont:I Was Somebody.Who, Is No BusinessOf Yours.Lester Moore Was A Wells Fargo Station Agent For Naco, Arizona In The Cowboy Days Of The 1880's. He's Buried In The Boot Hill Cemetery In Tombstone, Arizona:Here Lies Lester MooreFour Slugs From A .44No Les No More.In A Georgia Cemetery:"I Told You I Was Sick!"John Penny's Epitaph In The Wimborne, England, Cemetery:Reader If Cash Thou ArtIn Want Of AnyDig 4 Feet DeepAnd Thou Wilt Find A Penny.On Margaret Daniels Grave At Hollywood Cemetery Richmond, Virginia:She Always Saidher Feet Were Killing Herbut Nobody Believed Her.In A Cemetery In Hartscombe, England:On The 22nd Of June- Jonathan Fiddle -Went Out Of Tune.Anna Hopewell's Grave In Enosburg Falls, Vermont Has An Epitaph That Sounds Like Something From A Three Stooges Movie:Here Lies The Body Of Our AnnaDone To Death By A BananaIt Wasn't The Fruit That Laid Her LowBut The Skin Of The Thing That Made Her Go.Here's More Fun With Names, This Time Featuring Owen Moore In Battersea, London, England:Gone AwayOwin' MoreThan He Could Pay.Someone In Winslow, Maine Didn't Like Mr Wood:In Memory Of Beza WoodDeparted This LifeNov. 2, 1837Aged 45 Yrs.Here Lies One WoodEnclosed In WoodOne WoodWithin Another.The Outer WoodIs Very Good:We Cannot PraiseThe Other.On A Grave From The 1880's In Nantucket, Massachusetts:Under The Sod And Under The TreesLies The Body Of Jonathan Pease.He Is Not Here, There's Only The Pod:Pease Shelled Out And Went To God.The Grave Of Ellen Shannon In Girard, Pennsylvania Is Almost A Consumer Tip:Who Was Fatally BurnedMarch 21, 1870by The Explosion Of A Lampfilled With "R.E. Danforth'sNon-Explosive Burning Fluid"Here's Harry Edsel Smith Of Albany, New York:Born 1903--Died 1942Looked Up The Elevator Shaft To See If The Car Was On The Way Down.It Was.In A Thurmont, Maryland, Cemetery:Here Lies An AtheistAll Dressed UpAnd No Place To Go.But Does He Make House Calls? Dr Fred Roberts, Brookland, Arkansas:Office Now UpstairsLet's Hope.
